Congratulations! You’ve landed that big promotion, and now you’re the boss! It’s an exciting and challenging journey ahead, but there are some things nobody told you about being a new manager. As someone who’s been through it, I’m here to share the top secrets I wish I knew when I first stepped into my managerial shoes. So, grab a comfortable seat, and let’s get down to business.
From Coworker to Boss: Navigating the Tricky Terrain
One of the most difficult transitions for any leader is to go from individual contributor to manager. Many times, we promote people who are effective at doing their jobs. They are reliable subject matter experts, who know how to do their jobs. But let’s not forget that leading people requires a new set of skills. For many, this transition can be quite humbling. Here are a few new moves, to help you glide through this tricky terrain with finesse:
- Embrace Change: You’re no longer just “one of the gang” – you’re the leader now! Embracing this change is the first step to earning respect from your former coworkers.
Tip: Be open about your new role and communicate your enthusiasm for leading the team. Your positive attitude will set the tone for a smooth transition.
- Tackling Team Dynamics: Now that you’re in charge, those lunchtime chats with your buddies might need a slight adjustment. Balancing camaraderie with authority and responsibility can be a tightrope walk, but it’s crucial.
Solution: Find a sweet spot where you can maintain friendly relations while setting professional boundaries. Remember, being friendly doesn’t mean compromising your position.
- Seek Support: Transitioning from coworker to boss can feel like learning a new dance routine. Don’t be afraid to lean on fellow managers or seek mentorship to guide you through.
Story: I once had a mentor who shared their experiences with the same transition. Their advice was like gold – a lifeline in the sea of uncertainty.
- Address the Elephant in the Room: Acknowledge the transition with your team openly. They might be experiencing mixed emotions, and addressing their concerns will go a long way in building trust.
Tip: As a new leader, I would routinely say, “I’m the same person with a few new responsibilities.” “My goal is to get it right 100 percent of the time, but when I miss the mark, I’m counting on you to let me know.”
- Lead with Empathy: Remember your time as a team member and put yourself in their shoes. Empathy and understanding will build a strong foundation for your leadership. If members of your team, share stories about their families, make sure you remember their kids’ names and interests. Asking about the things that matter most to your team builds rapport, trust, and loyalty.
Solution: Hold one-on-one meetings to hear your team’s thoughts and concerns. This not only shows you care but also helps you better understand their needs.
Walking the Tightrope
Sometimes leading people can feel like you’re walking a tightrope. How do you balance the needs of your team, maximize outcomes, create time to create strategy, prioritize you own work-life balance? Here are a few tips that will help you walk the tightrope.
- The Balancing Act of Leadership: As an individual contributor, your time was basically your own, but the minute you become a manager, you quickly learn that your time is now devoted to your team. If I could tell you the number of times I left work with nothing crossed off of my to-do list, after having spent most of my day addressing the needs of my team. Being a manager means juggling a myriad of responsibilities. You have to find that balance between leading your team, allowing autonomy, executing on your own deliverables, and being approachable. And, yes, it’s okay to show empathy and have a sense of humor while maintaining respect and authority.
Example: One day, my team was drowning in deadlines. I decided to lighten the mood by bringing everyone a funny coffee mug full of snacks. We laughed, but it also boosted team morale and showed them I had their backs.
- Embrace the Art of Delegation: As a new manager, the temptation to do everything yourself can be strong. But remember, you’re not a one-person band; you have a talented team! Delegation is like sharing the load and letting others shine. Trust your team, and they’ll surprise you with their capabilities. Note to Self: Managers sometimes hesitate to delegate tasks because they feel confident in their own subject matter expertise. However, it’s essential to recognize that being a manager demands a different skill set. Now, your focus should be on developing a team of subject matter experts who can handle various tasks and responsibilities. Embrace your role in fostering a capable and skilled team that can contribute to the organization’s success.
Story: At my first team meeting, I delegated a project I used to be responsible for to a team member who lacked confidence. They soared with the responsibility, and their confidence grew, benefiting both the project and their career.
- The Power of Active Listening: Yes, you’re the boss, but that doesn’t mean you have to do all the talking. Take a moment to listen to your team’s ideas, feedback, and concerns. The magic happens when you genuinely listen and make your team feel heard. In their book, Leading with Questions, Michael Marquardt and Bob Tiede describe how to ask powerful questions that generate short-term and long-term results and success. They show you how effective leaders use questions to encourage participation and teamwork, foster creative thinking, empower others, create relationships with customers, and solve problems. I can honestly say that the greatest leaders I have worked with didn’t always have all the answers, but they always asked the best questions.
Tip: I once thought I knew the best solution to a problem, but my team had other ideas. After listening to them, I realized their approach was even better. Lesson learned: sometimes, managers need to zip their lips and open their ears!
- Embrace the “Oops” Moments: Mistakes happen, and they’re not the end of the world. As a new manager, you might feel the pressure to be perfect, but remember, you’re human too. It’s okay to make a blunder; just own up to it, learn from it, and move on. These mistakes often provide a golden opportunity for managers to lead by example. If your team sees that you openly acknowledge your mistakes, you are creating an environment where it is safe to make mistakes. Innovation, honesty, and trust often flourish in these kinds of environments.
Example: Several years ago, I was preparing a presentation for an executive team I was working with. The night before the big presentation, one of my consulting partners realized the title page had not one, but two typos. I was grateful she caught the mistake and even more grateful that we were able to laugh about it afterward. It also served as a valuable reminder that an extra set of eyes is essential.
Lead with Positivity: A smile can work wonders, and positivity is contagious. Be the manager who brightens the room and boosts team morale. A positive work environment leads to happier, more motivated employees.
As a leader, your energy sets the tone for your team. Your attitude, whether positive or negative, can be contagious. During challenging and stressful moments, your ability to remain composed and optimistic becomes a steadying force for those you lead. As a leader, your optimism and poise inspire others to stay resilient and focused, even in the face of adversity. Your positive approach creates an environment where your team feels supported and motivated, leading to better outcomes and a stronger sense of unity. The more positivity you radiate, the more it will resonate with your team, creating a cycle of productivity and success.
My father used to say, “People are like tea bags, when you put them in hot water, their real flavor comes out. So, like a refreshing cup of tea, steep your leadership with positivity and watch your team flourish!
Story: On a particularly challenging day, I brought in donuts for the team. The atmosphere transformed, and everyone tackled the tasks with newfound energy. Sweet treats can do wonders!
The Most Common Mistakes New Managers Make (And How to Avoid Them!)
As a new manager, you might feel like the kid who’s been thrown into the deep end of the pool. You might remember… your feet can’t touch the bottom, you can’t reach the wall, and you don’t want everyone to know you’re a mediocre swimmer at best. Let’s explore some common missteps new managers make and how to tread water while you gain your confidence:
- Micromanaging Madness: Picture this: you’re hovering over your team like a helicopter, nitpicking every detail. Please stop! Micromanaging can suffocate creativity and demotivate your team. Instead, trust your team’s abilities and give them the freedom to soar. If you have a team member who requires additional training or seems to have lost motivation, focus your increased time and attention on them. If the rest of the team is hitting their marks, they’ve demonstrated the ability to work autonomously.
Solution: Step back, set clear expectations, and empower your team to take ownership of their tasks. You’ll be amazed at how they thrive with a little breathing room. Few things can be more frustrating for a team, than not having clear expectations. Be sure you make the desired outcomes, deadlines, and other specifics crystal clear out of the gate.
- Ignoring Employee Development: Your team isn’t just a bunch of cogs in the wheel; they’re a treasure trove of talent and potential. Neglecting their growth can lead to disengagement and frustration. As a manager, you have been charged with developing talent. Becoming familiar with the strengths and growth opportunities will help you better understand how to close the gap between where they are and where they have the potential to be. One way to look at it is to consider how many people on your team would be prepared to step up into your role, should you decide to move on to the next opportunity.
Tip: Make time for one-on-one meetings with your team members to discuss their career aspirations and growth opportunities. Investing in their development shows that you care and value their progress. Don’t forget, your ability to develop your team demonstrates to others your effectiveness. Do it well and people will notice.
- Avoiding Difficult Conversations: Ah, the dreaded conversations about performance issues or conflicts. It’s tempting to sweep them under the rug, but doing so only delays the inevitable. If there is one question I receive more often than any other it’s, “How do I conquer the fear of having difficult conversations?” One suggestion I often give is to have a clear plan for these conversations. And while we know that we can improve in this area, truth be told, these conversations will never be “easy” because the stakes are often high and because we’re dealing with people, that have emotions, families, stress, health challenges, and ultimately, who may not be a great fit for their position. Joseph Grenny and Kerry Patterson wrote an entire book and learning series on the subject – Crucial Conversation: Tool for Talking When the Stakes Are High.
What the Research Says About Managers and Feedback
Research supports this. An online survey by Harris Poll, sponsored by Interact, got the scoop from 2,058 adults in the U.S. And guess what? Over one-third of those managers confessed they feel uneasy about giving direct feedback to their employees, especially when they think the employee might not take it too well. The survey dug deeper and found that’s not all managers struggle with. Many are not fans of being vulnerable, recognizing achievements, delivering the official “company line,” giving clear directions, or even giving credit to others for good ideas. Plus, face-to-face talks and difficult feedback conversations? They’d rather avoid those altogether.
It’s like they’re juggling a bunch of hot potatoes, hoping not to get burned! But hey, we all know being a manager is no walk in the park. Balancing emotions and tough talks can be a real tightrope walk.
So, let’s break it down – managers need some support too. Finding ways to help them navigate these challenges might just lead to a more harmonious workplace where everyone feels heard and appreciated. Let’s empower our managers with the tools and confidence they need to handle those tricky situations like pros. After all, great leadership starts with knowing how to handle the tough stuff!
- Being the “Know-It-All”: As a new manager, you might feel the pressure to have all the answers. But remember, you’re not a walking encyclopedia and nobody expects you to be. Sometimes the best answer is, “I’m not sure, let’s research that together.”
Story: Once, a team member asked me a question I didn’t know the answer to. Instead of pretending, I admitted it and promised to find the solution. That moment of vulnerability actually strengthened our bond and encouraged open communication.
- Neglecting Recognition: Your team is working hard, and they deserve recognition for their efforts. Neglecting to acknowledge their achievements can dampen team spirit.
Consider using the 5:1 ratio. Psychologist John Gottman, PhD, made a pretty fascinating discovery about what makes a great marriage tick. He found that the secret sauce lies in a simple five-to-one ratio of positive-to-negative comments. He and his team observed couples and found that by just counting the balance of positive and negative words, they could predict with over 90% accuracy which marriages would stand the test of time.
This powerful five-to-one ratio works its magic in other types of relationships too. Imagine if leaders applied this principle to their interactions with their teams. What if they put five times more effort into praising and recognizing people for their skills and progress compared to criticizing poor performance? After all, I the team feels valued and supported, and they’re more motivated to excel and achieve great things.
It’s a simple yet powerful concept that can transform the dynamics of any workplace. By intentionally cultivating a positive environment, leaders foster a culture of growth and excellence. So, here’s to embracing the five-to-one ratio – a game-changer for successful relationships, be it in marriages or in the professional realm!
Solution: Celebrate wins, big or small! Recognize and appreciate your team’s hard work and dedication. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in boosting morale.
In the end, every new manager faces challenges, but learning from these common mistakes will set you up for success. Lead with trust, empathy, and a willingness to learn. Embrace the journey, laugh at your fumbles, and grow into the confident leader you were meant to be. Remember, you’re not alone on this adventure, and with each step, you’re becoming the inspiring leader your team deserves!
The transition from coworker to boss may have its challenges, but it’s also an opportunity to grow and lead with newfound confidence. Embrace the change, be authentic, and communicate openly with your team. With each step, you’ll find your footing, and before you know it, you’ll be gracefully dancing through this new chapter of your career. Remember, you’ve got what it takes to shine as a leader but if you’re willing to learn, be patient, it might take some time.
Gottman, J. (1999). The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy. New York, NY: W.W. Norton & Co
